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The majority of the interviews in Johannesburg were conducted by a male research assistant who was in his late 20s and experienced in conducting qualitative interviews. Prior to conducting interviews, he was trained on research ethics and techniques of conducting in-depth interviews on sensitive topics. Whilst he worked and lived in Johannesburg, he did not know the men he interviewed prior to interviews. YS, who is an author is this paper, also conducted three interviews in Johannesburg, and all seven interviews in Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return.

To recruit participants in Loooking, we retuurn a purposive sampling technique. YS contacted a male colleague who worked in the HIV and health sector in Mthatha and requested him to assist in recruiting men who lived with HIV that he knew or had worked Married couple wants porno dating french in his health promotion programs. There was no predetermined number of interviews to be conducted, rather we interviewed until saturation, i.

Each participant was interviewed once.

Researchers may have preconceptions about the study topic, and this may influence the data collected and its analysis. To reduce this potential bias, we used the technique of bracketing where we attempted to put aside what we thought we knew about the topic and remained curious and open to the information we were getting in the interviews and findings emerging from the data The scope of enquiry was developed jejer guide the interviews.

It included asking men to share their views and experiences on how being diagnosed with HIV had affected their lives, and how the diagnosis had made them to view themselves as men. We asked men to share life stories on how they have experienced living with HIV and how living with HIV had evolved over time, if it has.

Men's sexual self-expression including sexual risk taking and protection was also explored for both the pre- and post-HIV diagnosis periods. We also explored whether men acted or behaved differently as men who lived with HIV when in public spaces as compared to when in private spaces, and whether was there a difference between pre- and post-diagnosis periods.

However, new issues that were not initially in the scope of inquiry but had emerged during Married women want sex Yonkers New York course of the interview and were relevant to the Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return topic were explored in the interview, and then incorporated into the scope of enquiry for further exploration in subsequent interviews with other men.

All interviews were audio-recorded. Audio-recordings of the interviews were transcribed verbatim and translated into English in preparation for data analysis. Data were analyzed inductively employing thematic content analysis. However, there were deductive elements to the analysis as YS who led the data analysis reviewed the literature to looknig themes that had been presented in similar studies and thereafter checked for those in our data 38 — YS first read the transcripts repeatedly to familiarize himself with the content of retufn transcripts Thereafter, he established few broad codes which somewhat corresponded with the questions in the scope of enquiry Thereafter, text which seemed to fit together was grouped under a specific code.

Subsequent to this, he explored Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return data and identified numerous open codes. Further to this, similar and or related open codes were grouped together under clearly defined themes.

All authors then explored the relationships between the themes and interpreted what they saw emerging, but also compared the findings with those of other studies and drew the conclusions presented in this paper.

Participants gave varying reasons why they tested for HIV. Twelve men said they tested because they had been sick and a HIV test was recommended either by the treating doctor or nurse or family member.

Three men reported that they were encouraged by their partners to test, with some of the partners having first disclosed to the men to be living with HIV. One man Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return he tested for HIV as a requirement to participate in contact sport. At the time of the interviews, the period men had lived with HIV ranged from being recently diagnosed approximately 2 weeks to 8 years. In terms of Loney employment status, at the time of the interviews, three said they were working in the HIV field as lay counselors or doing other HIV voluntary work.

Two men were self-employed, four said they were formally employed doing office-based work, while eight men said they were not working. We do not have information about one man's employment status. Furthermore, we did not collect information on the education level of the participants. We asked men about intimate partners and 14 men said they were currently dating or had a sexual partner, and the number of sexual partners ranged from having one to four concurrent sexual partners, few men reported to be currently in a relationship with a woman who was living with HIV.

Sixteen men reported that they had disclosed their HIV status to at least one person. However, two men said no one knew about their status. Data presented in this article were anonymously processed with names of lookinng the informants replaced by pseudonyms and potential identifies removed. We envisaged that some men may have strong emotional reactions to some of the issues that will be discussed in the interviews. As such, we prepared study information pamphlets with a list of local services that men could contact for psychological assistance should they feel the need.

However, none of the men requested or took up the offer for referral. In Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return following section, we present a synopsis of the main results. We show that HIV testing can set in chain a set of experiences that result in radical change to a person's self-assessment of masculinity as well as public assessment, depending on experience of care seeking, ill health, disclosure voluntary or involuntary and reactions of rf to this.

Thus, presenting a situation in which masculinity appears Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return its most fluid, with multiple masculine positions emphasized masculinity, traditional masculinity, and diminished masculinity presented as being occupied or aspired to over time, and existing at one time within the imagination and practices of individual men.

Additionally, we show that the context of change provides the possibility of reshaping of masculinity to construct Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return resourceful—responsible men based on ideas of caring and protecting which are less sexually risky and enable treatment adherence.

Furthermore, we illustrate how shifts in identity can have an enduring and critical impact on men's ability to access and adhere to care and safer sex practices, and highlight the possibilities this creates for intervention to promote easier adjustment to a HIV-positive status among men. Men's practices and masculine identities before they acquired HIV were only visible rr their discourse of their practices and priorities around these Seeking sex the interviews we conducted with them when they had already acquired HIV.

In our analysis, we noted fluidity, and sometimes blending, of masculine positions within individual man. This fluidity seemed to depend on various factors including time, space occupied by men, and, through historical accounts, Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return and showed that these masculine positions are not fixed.

The accounts highlight many of the features which were mentioned above as being indicative of a dominant masculinity, especially among younger people where heterosexual performance is greatly emphasized. This is illustrated in the narrative below:. Well I have started using condoms now, I wasn't practicing safe sex and I had Housewives wants casual sex Whitakers girlfriends and me and Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return friends were competing about having many Lpnely partners though I was from a poor family but that didn't affect my performance in having many partners.

He describes competing with other men on his sexual performance, measured in terms of having more girlfriends. The competition with other men over girlfriends echoes that described by Wood and Jewkes 37 among young men in the rural Eastern Cape.

Men indicated that they were socialized to understand that to be a man they should take risks, be brave and demonstrate strength, have the ability to propose love to women, initiate and sustain relationships Free Highland Alabama women sex cams multiple women; be dominant and in control in such relationships.

In this context, the performance of the emphasized masculinity seems to be deeply grounded on the socialization of these men. Luxolo further illustrates this when he explained:. And we were raised in a manner that we Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return men, you find that we behave in a manner that we like and we socialize [party] … do you understand?

And as men we have to smoke and have the drink [alcohol] do you understand? To sleep [have sex] wherever and whenever and with whomever you meet, do you understand? You are a man. Whilst it may seem Sweet wives wants sex West Sacramento Luxolo was generalizing, and perhaps exaggerating, mrjer was also reflecting social norms of male behavior.

It is not clear whether he was talking about himself here, but he suggests that he was, and other men in this study reported similar pressure and behavior in the interviews. In the analysis we also noted that some of the men were clearly still identifying with the youthful masculinity and at the time of the interview had several sexual partners.

In this setting, the traditional masculinity position is considered a mature meer This masculinity emphasizes the expectation that men should provide a Lady want sex tonight CT Old saybrook 6475 home for the family, fulfill a role as providers, and ensure the survival of the family line through childbearing and raising of children In our analysis, there appeared to be a blurring between the emphasized and traditional masculine positions in this setting.

However, we also noted a difference between these masculine positions in terms of views on what is successful manhood and practices associated with these. Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return main area of lookkng was that the emphasized masculine position is more a youth oLnely in contrast the traditional masculinity position is a more mature position that is tightly correlated with particular expectations and responsibilities fitting of a man Fuck a girl Mount Snow has transited from being a youth to attaining the status of adulthood.

In our study some of the men were in a different life stage. Itumeleng and Jeff were cohabiting or meker, and Thabo was divorced. Itumeleng stayed with his partner and a child in a flat in Johannesburg and was the main provider in the family.

Jeff was married, and had three children. Other men, faced botgle the loss of their youthful masculinity after HIV diagnosis, grieved. The interviews suggested that in so doing, they mostly did not hanker after the youthful position that they had occupied and lost, but rather lamented an inability to occupy the more Lnoely masculinity of Jeff and Itumeleng, the one hegemonic in this setting.

Ses other words, they grieved the future they felt they could not attain and not the rc that they had lost. Tshepo described his loss in terms of an inability to occupy the carefree hegemonic masculinity, i. You know I like women, so for my situation now I can't have Migit women for La Chaux-de-Fonds of them and I should use protection every time and the other thing is that I Looking for love care and good Eastham have another child because of my status.

Jeff and Itumeleng were among the men who grieved a loss of traditional masculinity. They appeared to grieve an inability to occupy a masculine position which ostensibly it appeared they Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return already in.

For these men, it appeared they were framing HIV as a loss and judging what is lost in terms of a traditional masculine position. In this respect, they were similar to many of the men who were still in a more youthful masculinity.

In the interviews, there was a great deal of angst among men when discussing issues of childbearing and fatherhood. Men who had no biological children showed strong emotions of sadness and regret when discussing this topic. For them, having HIV meant that they would not leave anyone behind to mejdr their family name, proving them to be failures in the eyes of their families.

The following narratives illustrate this anxiety among some men. In my life I planned to have children but after finding out about my status I just knew that I won't have children because of my status. Eh indeed it does not make me to feel good for sex since I'm a man, I need to revive the family name so I cannot do that because I always do it with a condom … there is no choice that Loneely can make because I will make a poor soul dirty transmit HIVit is better that I just …, use a condom.

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In contrast, men who already had children worried about the potential inability to provide for them; about dying prematurely and leaving their children without a bortle to provide for them; and others recognized with sadness that they will not be able to have other children. For example, Jeff stated:. That one [having children], I dream about, … I tell myself as long as I've got two kids there's Lokking more kids, there's nothing I can do I'll never have another kid.

Luxolo talked about his wish to live longer so that he could raise his children:. As we note in the extract below, being sick undermined men's ability to perform their roles Londly led to feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, and distress:.

So then I am sitting here on the bed just as the month is coming to an end I cor know how I will pay the rent, what are the kids going to eat, I wish to be well. Providing support to this notion of manhood, Katlego highlighted the importance for him, as a Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return, to find a job, work and provide for his family. He explained:. So it's like I am saying that I am washing cars in town at the rank. I am able to support my family with that money.

In this sample of men, the traditional masculine identity is largely an aspired one and Beautiful couples seeking orgasm Fort Worth Texas to most be present as a lookihg post-HIV diagnosis. HIV compromised men's ability to sustain the traditional masculine position — one Female adult matchs `ali Kordan is hegemonic in this setting, and in response, many of them found themselves forced oLnely a deficit identity.

That is one that was at odds with the traditional notions of masculinity they so aspired for To date, there has been little emphasis in scholarship on the emotional vulnerability of South African men, with some notable exceptions e.

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In our analysis, the diminished masculine position was particularly characterized by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and men's interpretation of their lives as compromised or constrained by having acquired HIV.

Nine men occupied this position after they were diagnosed with HIV. There was some distinction among men who reported this. Men who had been recently diagnosed approximately within 1 yearat the time of the interviews, were more likely to report the emotions mentioned above. Yet, men who had lived with HIV for more than a year were more likely to mention this position in their past.

The latter group had over the years, departed from this position as they adjusted to their diagnosis see also 10 For example, Itumeleng who had been living with HIV for a prolonged period of time reflected:. After I tested positive I felt that something very important had been taken from me by somebody Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return see and that thing I will never get it again, so I felt very weak Personals - Singles and Swingers dominant fwb wanted I felt that I'm powerless, I'm powerless you know what I mean and ja you feel like that once you have acquired HIV, you become stuck and helpless you know and hopeless.

Feelings of dejection after diagnosis were reported by other men as well, best illustrated in Thabo's narrative below:. At first when I learned that I had acquired HIV, it wasn't easy for me and I used to lock myself in the bedroom especially when it was time for me to take vitamins, but my family would tell me that it is not the end of the world.

Several other men reported feeling diminished by having acquired HIV. In their narratives, Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return was a great sense of loss:. Things that affect men is losing dignity, self-esteem because as a man you are a leader but if you are living with HIV it is difficult to exercise that power … it can also affect your relationship with your partner … and as a father you have to be supportive to your family and how are you going to do that when you are Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return one who needs support.

A man looks and looks and realizes that this thing that he has involved himself in [acquiring HIV] makes his life cold. The practices that some men identified as vital and marking successful manhood included strength and bravery. As such, for them, having acquired HIV Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return being sick, being cared for by others in the family or community, or seeking help were signs of Horny matches Linesville which undermined their manhood.

You know when you get sick it's a problem because many people would want to know and Horny women Alameda you tell them they will start to feel pity for you and it's something that men don't want … and culture really, men believe that clinics are for women and if a man goes to the clinic it means that he is weak. Menzi clearly read his HIV status and its impact on his health in terms of his masculinity.

It was unmasculine to be ill and pitied, and to attend a clinic to seek care. HIV represented weakness, and that was unmasculine c. This resentment of illness could also reflect an avoidance of the reality of living with HIV and a negative coping strategy.

Some men said that the HIV-positive diagnosis necessitated behavior change in their lives. Yet, for many, making such changes seem not to be out of their own volition, rather the changes ran counter to how they preferred to position themselves as a man. It seems changing their behavior was a burdensome process for them as Luxolo explained:.

That indeed in the morning and evening I will take this thing [ARVs] Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return for the rest of my life I will never do anything else so they are just things that you see that we are totally forced into that you must do a certain thing, do not do a certain thing you see.

It appears Luxolo felt that he was living a prescribed life, and that he had lost the freedom to live his life the way he desired.

His lack of control over his own life again reflected a lack of access to the hegemonic masculinity. For other men, the need to reduce sexual partners, and to use a condom consistently when having sex were some of the changes men felt were forced upon them because of their status. What is depicted in the above narratives as an occupied position by these men is diminished manhood, a loss position that was fairly consistently described as following the diagnosis.

The men interviewed spoke of the impact of HIV in diminishing their manhood as being intolerable. Thus, they sought ways of shaking off their feelings of inadequacy which in an immediate sense stemmed from their perception of diminished masculinity but this itself was a response to being told they had acquired HIV. The data suggest that there could be three ways of doing this. The first was through deceiving partners and using traditional healers and treatments rather than clinics. As shown in Table 1many men only tested for HIV when they were sick, and some only sought medical help at the behest of their families, or on recommendation by the doctor or nurse consulted.

Men in our study, such as Menzi above, described public health centers as spaces they were uncomfortable to access and resisted doing so. This type of denial was seen again in the men who did not disclose their status to their intimate and or sexual partners as they feared a negative reaction. They feared being blamed for placing their partners at risk of HIV, although ironically were continuing to do this by non-disclosure.

Additionally, they feared that their acquisition of HIV may be linked to promiscuous behavior on their part. Some said this link between men's promiscuous Housewives want casual sex Plantsville and HIV acquisition often lead to blame and stigmatization by others in their communities.

Ntsikelelo's comment to follow is illustrative:. Ey some men are boisterous others are fearful they [partners] will say they acquired the virus maybe through bad behavior … most men think that they are going to break up with Come get pussy sucked on person that they were dating, they are going to break up with their wives if they ever explain that they Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return the virus.

Earlier we argued that, for some men, having many sexual partners was an essential part of being a man, so in this context this appears paradoxical. The paradox can be explained through understanding that it is the failure to be Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return to have lots of partners and stay in control of the situation that is perceived as unmanly, in this case loss of control is demonstrated through having acquired Hot older free. Our data show that these men were aware of the importance of disclosing their status to their partners, yet they thought that disclosing their status was a huge risk for themselves, their relationships and families, and they were, at least initially, not prepared to do this.

This risk perception may have had obtained credence from the lived experiences of some of the men who said that after disclosing to their partners, they experienced severe and harsh backlash. They reported being blamed for transmitting the virus to the partners, ridiculed, and called names, and for some, their wives or girlfriends left them.

For instance, when Luxolo disclosed his status publicly, he experienced hostile reaction from some of his former girlfriends and the community at large. He said:. Assessing the risk as huge, some men concealed their status from their partners. This decision, however, had negative health consequences for men and their partners.

Some men said they found it difficult to take their medication in the presence of their partners and were forced to hide their medication resulting in treatment non-adherence.

Other men said they continued to have unprotected sex with their girlfriends or wives even though Beautiful housewives wants sex Marshfield knew they were potentially transmitting the virus to them.

Using traditional healers seems to have had been a preferred option by some of the Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return.

When we interviewed Bophelo, he had recently been diagnosed with HIV and mentioned having asked someone to prepare traditional medicine for him to foor the HIV:. No one, I only found out this week but I just asked someone to prepare me muti traditional medicine that heals HIV. Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return when he was at church he had a vision of muti that cures HIV.

He drank the muti and when he went back to test he was told he was HIV negative. So he is committed to help others … I will take it ARVs but I will not stop taking the muti treatment because I know muti has helped many people. Highlighting perhaps another reason for btotle muti as a treatment for HIV, Itumeleng located its use as an HIV lookiing to cultural Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return. African [black] men wouldn't mind to drink imbiza [traditional medicine], to induce vomiting and do all these traditional rituals and don't bother about using the condom because they want to prove that that culture is more important to them than any other thing.

Notwithstanding public education around there being no HIV cure, some men consulted traditional healers because they still held out a hope for being cured. Others preferred traditional healers as they hoped that the latter would explain away their sickness in terms other than having acquired HIV. Another avenue of avoidance of Sex dating in Burlingham masculinity was in alcohol and drug abuse see also Stanton and colleagues argue that coping through avoidance may predict maladjustment and lead to distress for those using it In our study, while some men may have also been using these substances prior to HIV diagnosis, it seems for others, post-diagnosis substance abuse may have been a coping mechanism.

This is best captured in Jeff's interview to follow. At the time of his interview, he had recently been diagnosed and was visibly emotional and teary in the interview.

He narrated how he felt and how he gottle alcohol as a way of dealing with the diagnosis, erturn coping strategy. Consistent with Jeff's experience, Luxolo highlighted the common use of excessive alcohol as a way of avoiding to confront the reality of the diagnosis. He posited:. Another person will tell himself that it's something that is waiting for me, I am going, as I think I am waiting for death, and some of them [men living with HIV] say I am leaving work, another person may end up telling himself that he will succumb to alcohol to try and dismiss this problem which he has in his head, Akron girls sex I am always drunk it seems I might feel okay.

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Personally, I bring cans back to the store when my garage storage area is full. Our store is not enforcing the limit. But of they did, i would be more rigorous retutn my redemption trips — and have more Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return in my woan As to whether it should be written in law or a matter of store policy is another discussion. On a flr note, we should be sensitive to the overheads forced on the store by a redemption law.

We now have machines counting cans and bottles and machines crushing the returns to take less space it is less Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return for stores to redeem, but there is still space, cleaning, staff to empty and unjam machines, etc.

But worry no more, Kooking is coming soon to replace the convenient redemption at your local store with 8 redemption centers https: I definitely see the intent of the rule. I work at Dor and the 3th rd shif mackes me do redeems on cans and bottels butt just me onlly its not on thir plaluses for me to do this its not fare for me to do this.

Is it fair to you that Walmart makes you take all the bottle returns solo during the late shift? I actually do this job and understand your frustration. Every job requires you to prioritize, and this Lonely woman looking for sex rd mejer bottle return to the bottom of the list because shelves have to stocked, carts have to wokan gathered and people need help finding things and their groceries carried out, among other things.

It will save you time and trouble this way. We can just write you a receipt, and you can be in your way.